January 2011
What I tell people when they ask why I deleted my...
Oh…I had it for a while but I just got kind of sick of it. Its a waste of time you know?
The real reason:
Why does that girl have so many more likes than me? She got into Cornell?! Did he just update his status with his blackberry? Why hasn’t he texted me back then?!
Someday I’m gonna look at the post I just wrote and cry-laugh because I’m a quivering mess. Oh God I fear the future and how much everything I say will bite me in the ass.
I want a boyfriend for revenge on all of the friend I’ve had who ditch me for their lame boyfriends. But I guess they already got theirs because they have to put up with their significant others and I get to laze around and go on the internet and not shower and shit.
I mean, how is it possible that everybody I know who got into a relationship turned into a quivering mess? Even the...
I like how I say when I was sixteen as if it wasn’t two years ago. I just feel so old and wise at eighteen you guys.
My friend: Sooo what are you doing with your life?
Me: Oh right now I’m really busy shopping because I’m trying to copy my favorite T.V. show character’s outfits!!
My friend: Um..no I meant like your G.E.D. and stuff.
Me: Oh…
I’m getting at that Amber level to be honest, I just need to get that shit done. At least I have two jobs? I mean sure one is at a failing...
Biggest fears I have
5. Do people make fun of me the way I make fun of me?!
4. Will I never learn how to clean?
3. What if birth control makes me have acne and makes me fat but my boobs dont get bigger?
2. Will they ever ban menthol cigarettes?!
1. When I get older and gain weight will it go to my cheeks and make my face look pleasantly round or will it all go to my chin making me look like the brown girl version...
#1 question running through my head
How am I gonna get stupidly rich while maintaining how lazy I am?
I excuse the majority of my drunken behavior cause I’ve never pissed myself when drunk. Vomited all over myself? Sure. Crawled up my stairs because I literally couldn’t walk? Yup. Passed out on the train and had no idea where I had woken up? Sadly, yes.
But pissed myself? Never. And if I ever do I hope to god I at least take a three month drinking break. But until then..
My dentist: So where are you from?
Me: Umm well my moms from Colombia.
Him: Oh God I heard its really really dangerous over there. Do you need a body guard or something when you go over there?
Me: Um, no.
Him: Are you sure? Cause I see all these news articles and it seems like things are going nuts over there.
Me: Yeah….
If all you know about a country that I’m from is what...
REBLOG if when ever you walk in to the doctors,...
“The film’s great squandered opportunity — and also the source of some of its...”
– The New York Times review of No Strings Attached. (via snugglyduckling)
Ugh am I really going to have to watch no strings attached because Mindy is in it?! FINE WHATEVER.
“The law discriminates against rape victims in a manner which would not be...”
– (via blackenedbutterfly)